Resolving Conflict in 7 Steps by Susan Stewart / Bly Books

7 Steps to Resolving Conflict

Resolving Conflict article by Susan StewartResolving Conflict in 7 Biblical Steps by guest blogger Susan K. Stewart

A recent undercurrent of discontent infected our congregation. I’d developed a terrible attitude about the situation, and I sat trying to be attentive for the sermon titled: Resolution: The Mathew Solution. My frame of mind caused me to miss the solution to resolving conflict.

During the following week, God led me to James 4:7-10. This time my heart opened to the clear steps to resolving conflict.

  • Submit to God

No matter the circumstances, submit to God. Ask for his wisdom to see the truth, not the colored viewpoint of humans. Be willing to follow him … wherever it may lead.

  • Resist the devil

As we submit to God, we resist the devil. But the attacks will continue during the peacemaking process. Satan wants to convince us we aren’t at fault and that following God’s way is troublesome, a lot of work, and a hindrance to the outcome we want.

  • Draw near to God

The more we resist the devil, the closer we draw near to God. As we move closer to him, the better able we are to resist the devil, remove our own desires and submit to his.

  • Cleanse your hands

We’ve become ingrained with Mt. 18—go to the one who has sinned against you. Instead we should be looking at our own sin. “First take the Resolving Conflict article by Susan Stewartlog out of your own eye” (Matthew 7:5 NASB). We need to face our own sin before we confront anyone else’s.

  • Purify your heart

The goal of conflict resolution is reconciliation with God. To approach a solution to the friction, our own hearts need to be clean. This is done by seeking to please God, not other people. Not everyone will be happy, but God will be delighted.

Humility Check

  • Be miserable and mourn and weep

Sin is the root of strife and we should be saddened and repentant. As we submit to God’s authority and purify our hearts, we come to realize how destructive our own sin is in the conflict.

  • Humble yourself

Humility isn’t weakness; it’s the opposite of pride. When we’re humble, we admit we can do nothing on our own. Pride believes we think we have the solution to any problem. But only God is the true peacemaker.

The next time you’re challenged with resolving conflict, remember James’s steps to peacemaking. Resolve the strife in yourself first, and then you’ll be prepared to help others.

What conflict do you face right now? How will James’s steps help resolve it?

Resolving Conflict author Susan K. Stewart

Susan K. Stewart


When she’s not tending chickens and donkeys, Susan K. Stewart teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers and listeners with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen and Preschool: At What Cost? and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Contact Susan to speak to your group her website


For more helps on resolving conflict and doing relationships, try these links:

Friends Forever/The Art of Lifetime Relationships, book by Janet Chester Bly found here:

“3 Models of Growing Lifetime Relationships” by Janet Chester Bly:

“10 Ways to Make the Most of Broken Relationships” by Janet Chester Bly:

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